Happy Monday!
It has been 3 years since I last posted on this blog! and let me just tell you
I am not the person I was 3 year ago :)
I am brand new and I wanna tell YOU why.
Easy...because of Jesus Christ!
See...I grew up going to church every single Sunday..from the time we lived in Mexico
to the time we moved to the US. Every single Sunday...and sadly it meant nothing to me.
I went because my parents "made me". I grew up telling people I was "Christian" every time I was asked what my "religion" was, and again, that meant nothing! We were part of a church that was focused on growing financially but not a church that wanted to grow spiritually. I have no memory of a message that spoke to me...a message about anything actually. Once I was a teenager I couldn't wait to be old enough to not have to go to church. I was fed up with the hypocrisy, church was about showing off your Sunday outfit, your new car, talk about your new house...there was no spiritual growth! There was clicks, rumors, gossip...it was out of control. I can't remember if I was 17...around that age...I stopped going to that church...I never went back. I thought..well I'm not harming anyone, I think I live a little better than the people preaching at church...in my ignorance. I went thru a lot of problems, I made countless mistakes. I got in a lot of trouble, but something always stopped my troubles from being worse. My parents never stopped going to a church...and they never stopped praying for me. My mother's prayers followed me everywhere I went, like that time I had a car accident, sure I got hurt but I survived, and that time my friend and I got a ride from a group of men (strangers) they took us to where we asked them and they did nothing to us, and that time that I ditched school...I made it home safe...(theres more to those stories) and theres sooo many situations that I got myself into and God watched it all unfold and he allowed me to "live my life" and "experience" this things and he allowed me to learn this lessons but because my parents prayed for me, God went with me and every bad situation I put myself into didn't have the worst outcome. The years went on...I got married, had two kids...and again went thru a lot of troubles... but I always thought "someone has it worse" so I wasn't doing THAT BAD? right? prayers followed me and God heard every single one of them. Every time my parents would talk to me about going back to church, about praying, they would tell me to talk to my kids about God, take them to church, do it for them...I was annoyed, irritated, I thought 'people at church live worse than me, they're all hypocrites,why bother?"I was still going thru problems in my personal life, financial struggles, hurt, anger,self steam issues. I, who thought, well I am not hurting anyone...was hurting the people I love the most without realizing it...my children. Social gatherings where I would drink, to cope, to "relax",to "forget", was bringing the worse out in me. Was bringing out anger and I put it out on display for my kids to see. I woke up feeling so much regret and embarrassment...so much guilt and I know that was God in my conscience. Still, I didn't think about talking to God. I ended up moving back to Arizona, close to my family, still wasn't interested in going to church or anything that had to do with it. My parents continued to pray...and guess what? I kept going thru problems, struggles, anger, not feeling good enough,loneliness, you name it. I kept trying to succeed, and though I was doing good with work, my bills were paid on time, health and blah blah, I felt so alone, and I felt empty. I couldn't sleep at night and I had all this anxiety. My nephew got my daughter interested in church and she started going, and part of me was happy because I knew my kids were heading on the right path. I went to church about once a month and every time I felt like the message was for me, for my situation and every time I went I couldn't help but cry. I can't tell you which day it was, or what message I heard or what happened, but one day it all made sense! It all made sense that God had always been there, thru all my troubles...they could've been worse, but he allowed me to "live my life" and respected me enough that he kept his distance but never stopped showing me his love. He allowed me to have all this feelings and he still blessed me but waited respectfully for me to call his name and invite him into my life! and let me tell you the day I prayed and I talked to him and invited him into my life, in my heart, he healed me. That emptiness I felt is gone. All that anger is gone, all that sadness is gone! I feel joy. My life isn't perfect, and I am not perfect, I sin constantly and constantly I ask for forgiveness. Inviting God into your life doesn't mean the troubles will stop and it doesn't mean life will be perfect...it means God will give you peace in your heart, he will give you the strength to fight all your struggles, he will be a constant reminder that you are meaningful, that you have a purpose, that when the world tells you you are not good enough God tells you, you are everything! Jesus died for us, he suffered so you and I don't have to. We don't have to suffer. I am reading my bible trying to understand what God is asking of me and I would love to share with you. Even thought I went to church for many years, I am just now learning, and getting to know God, because I KNEW ABOUT HIM but I didn't KNOW HIM, and I want to know him <3 and I'd like you to know him too. This is just a little bit of my story. Im on a new journey, and I am asking God for guidance. I hope I can share a bit more soon. Don't give up. God loves us and accepts us as we are, sinners. He forgives. He cares. I invite you to download "The Holy Bible" on your phone and look up EZEKIEL 37:1-14. A beautiful promise.
Thanks for reading if you made it all the way down here :)
God loves you ;)
Love, Karen
